Wandering alone....

Pieces of a broken stove top

Several thoughts are popping into my head right about now. Tiger Army's Wander Alone is playing in the background, I believe it must have something to do with it. Repeatedly Nick 13 says, "So now I wander alone, without no one. There's just this pain in my heart. There is no place that I can go...and so it's come to be, shards of broken dreams are cutting me apart." I hate to get emo, but for some reason I still feel like this. Maybe I just need to keep myself more occupied. Working for Vogue is really tiring me out. Who knew that the fashion industry is as tough as this. I hope it turns out well, someday I hope to be a great fashion photographer. I miss all my friends at the New School. The Dynamic duo of Carol and Tiffany, the hilarious comical styles of Inseup Keum, Jarrod, Kurt, Luis, and the rest of the Korean Connection. As of now, I have to focus on getting my life back. I've been doing very well actually. My head is on straight, though some screws are bit a loose. My weight loss goal is doing pretty good as well. I began at 194, and i'm down to 182. I've been drinking a lot of water, and don't exceed over 2000 calories a day nor do I eat after 9. I have no idea how I function. I literally run on 2-3 hours of sleep, and work most of the day. I mean, I usually start my day off with coffee and a cigarette or two. I'm surprised that I haven't been much of a smoker as much. I usually would down a pack and a half in a day, but recently it's usually no more than 3-6 a day. Life's been looking up. I used to see the world in black and white, or a subtle sepia tone, but I've been more dazzled by the warmer tones of the spectrum. Though I still feel pretty shitty, it's not as bad as I thought it'd be. Perhaps I really do have to wander alone to make a change. Maybe it's true that I can only rely on myself, but it's always great to have that companionship. I miss it, but lately, x amount of people/person have/has fulfilled my standards. HAHA! You can't guess how many it is, let alone who it is. We'll see what twists and turns that life has to offer me. In the end, ash falls of a cigarette, the sun still sets, but I'll still be around when the sun rises. So much is really said unheard.