A Better View of the Rising Moon.

Snow...How lovely...

It's another late night/early morning for me. I don't know how many of you read my blog, but it helps me vent out and knock out. I have a heavy load on my head right now(what's new?). I want a cigarette but I'm trying to kick the habit. The pain in my left arm is unbearable. I sprained a ligament and now I can't move my fingers. I was thinking of going somewhere far away. Perhaps a change of scenery for me is needed. CalArts was one of my options. I know for a fact that California is a very laid back place. It's no place for an eastern city slicker. I love the city though. It would be very difficult for me to leave for the fact that I would miss everyone here. It's not the people that I will miss, because I would be missing the feeling of wandering around this concrete jungle. I've been told that I was a laid back person, and that California is where I belong. I have a feeling that they're wrong. I feel like an extraordinary being on this side of the country. I have the California mindset, but I have the instincts and street smarts of a New Yorker. I feel like Ferdinand, from the children's book "The Story Of Ferdinand" written by Munro Leaf. The book is about a bull who would rather smell the flowers rather than clash with matadors. The East Coast is generally in a hurry 100% of the time, but as for me, I like walking slow and observing the people on the street and the scenery. Capturing the moments of this infinite feeling through a camera makes me feel at peace. It's at those moments where I can die happy. Everyone is rushing to get somewhere but I'm in no rush at all. People are walking past me at a faster pace while I just fade into the back. I know I'm not a person who likes responsibilities. If I had a choice, I would wander around the city capturing photos all day, and everyday. What exactly is the purpose of a human being? Like Ferdinand, people expected him to fight because he was a bull. A human? I usually expect humans to work for money. Don't get me wrong, money is important, but people don't really take time to enjoy the finer things in life. It's not my problem, but it troubles me. To leave, or to go...that is the question. I love California, but I belong in New York City. Besides, above the skyscrapers, the city has a better view of the rising moon.